FF7 A New Threat
by Butt Crack
Summary: Sephiroth has a brother from another planet.I dont know if he likes danishes though.God knows i do.


Final Fantasy 7- A New Threat  
  
*Its been 1 WHOLE day since the final showdown and the destruction of the meteor.Everything couldnt be better.Men are dancing and women are .........well dancing.Everyones just so happy.Children finally feel safe enough to play on the streets once again.Little does the planet know.....a new threat is heading their way.....*  
  
Cloud-Wow, after all that dancing im finally tired.  
  
Aeris-Yeah! It was fun !  
  
Cloud-Hey, i thought you di...  
  
Yuffie-Wheres Cid?  
  
Red13- Hes still dancing.  
  
Cloud-Still?  
  
Red13- Well um yeah.Hes was dancing even before we destroyed meteor.  
  
Cloud-Oh yeah  
  
Barret-Hey guys! Wanna go to my house and listen to my Nelly Cds?!  
  
Cloud-No we dont, go away.  
  
Barret-You smell of radish! Trash Man! *Stomps off angry*  
  
Cloud-Welp guys lets go to bed and dance some more tommorow.  
  
  
  
  
  
*They head to an Inn in Costa Del Sol*  
  
Cloud-Hey guys! Im IN an INN!  
  
Everyone-Hahahahahahahaha that was hilarious ,Cloud!  
  
Cid-You know....after a good laugh i like to make a sandwich.....whos with me?! *Raises hand*  
  
*Silence*  
  
Yuffie-Sit down  
  
Cid-Yes mam....  
  
Aeris-I have an idea! Lets all sleep in the same bed! To celebrate!  
  
Cloud-Um yeah.....uh......"celebrate"  
  
*Yuffie, Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Red13, and Cid climb into the same bed*  
  
Yuffie-Wow, it hasnt broken yet  
  
Cloud-Whos face is in my ass?  
  
Vincent-*Gives a hiss but its muffled by Clouds butt*  
  
Cloud-AHHHH!! EVERYONE GET UP!  
  
  
Barret-Hey guys! I just got out of the shower! I smell nice!  
  
*Jumps on top of everyone*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile..................on a distant planet.................  
  
Guy-Sir! Are you really going through with this?!  
  
Mysterious Guy-Yes, those punks killed my brother.  
  
Guy- You mean S.......  
  
Mysterious Guy-Yes! Now ready the ship!  
  
Guy-Yes sir!  
  
  
  
  
  
*Back on planet.............um does it even have a name? If so, I dont know it*  
  
Cloud- That popcorn was terrible.Who made it?  
  
Vincent-It wasnt popcorn......................HISSSS *slithers back into the shadows*  
  
Cloud-Oh.....  
  
*Suddenly they hear an explosion outside of the Inn*  
  
Cloud-Lets go see what happened!  
  
*They run outside into the streets of Kalm and see a stereotype U.F.O*  
  
Cid-Somebody toss a rock at it!  
  
*he then picks up the nearest kid and tosses her at the ship*  
  
Aeris-That wasnt a rock!  
  
*Thud*  
  
Cid-Sounded like one.  
  
*The spaceship's door then opens.Really dramatic too.Infact it does it in slow motion.While fireworks go off! And people flip everywhere! And cowboys shoot at each other on roofs! And bears are on unicycles! THATS how dramatic it opened*  
  
Yuffie-That was awesome.  
  
*Smoke flows from the door and faint sounds of footsteps are heard.*  
  
Cid-Father.........?  
  
Cloud-No Cid......hes from another planet.  
  
Vincent-The plot thickens............HISS *dissappers*  
  
Aeris-What plot?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Mysterious Guy-SILENCE!  
  
*A cloaked man then walks out from the ship*  
  
Everyone-Whoa!  
  
Mysterious Guy- I have come to avenge my brother! Whom died by your blade! S.......  
  
Cloud-Sephiroth?  
  
Mysterious Guy- Sean Connery.  
  
*Silence for a whole 10 seconds*  
  
Mysterious Guy-What?  
  
Aeris-Hes still alive.........um i think  
  
Mysterious Guy-LIES! ALL LIES! I READ IT IN THE TABLOIDS! IT MUST BE TRUE!  
  
*He then takes off his cloak.His attributes resemble almost exactly what Sephiroth looked like but he has a mustache like Nintendos Mario.*  
  
Cloud-*Gives a manly giggle*   
  
Yuffie-Your nothing!  
  
Mysterious Guy-   
  
Iam a black mage, a master of the dark art of destruction, a wielder of will, a nexus of power that is tapped into the very living key lines of the COSMOS.I can shake the very bounds of creation with but one single word!  
  
The heavens bow to the might of my magic! The gods quiver in fear that I should find them lacking my favor.Reality itself is my plaything, nothing more than clay in this sculptor's masterful and precise hands.  
  
But you need not take my word for it. Lo, for behind us , can you not see the smoldering crater what was once know as Midgar?It has been reduced to mere ashes. How, you ask? T'was the work of my very own blood brother.  
  
And now you stand against Me? Oh, how i pity you foul and wretched creatures. At least take some solace in knowing that your utter obliteration shall be so nigh-instantaneous that you wont have the chance to feel how excrutiantingly painful it is.  
  
My name is..............Dan.The all and powerful.  
  
*A random guy runs past Dan flinging his arms and he suddenly bursts into flames*  
  
Cloud-*Draws sword* Lets get him guys!  
  
*Looks around*  
  
Cloud-Guys?  
  
Dan-Your friends have abandoned you.Probably scared.I dont blame them  
  
*Everyone comes back with ice-creams*  
  
Yuffie-Nah, we just went out for some ice-cream during your speech.  
  
Dan-Perish FOOL!  
  
*Dan then points his finger and a beam comes from it*  
  
Cait Sith-I have dialogue?!  
  
*The beam hits him and he explodes*  
  
*Dan slowly begins to walk towards Cloud*  
  
Cloud-Grr  
  
*Dan then barely lifts his hand up and Cloud goes flying through a nearby building*  
  
Dan-Its meaningless to fight back  
  
Cid-Who said we were...............?  
  
Dan- N...........no one  
  
Yuffie- ok.......  
  
Dan-Perish peasants!  
  
Red13-Huh?  
  
*Dan then summons turnips from all around the world and assembles them all above the group.*  
  
Dan- DIE!  
  
*The turnips then begin smacking everyone really fast*   
  
Aeris-C.........c.................cant take the pain!  
  
Cid-Hey! (ow) That would make a (ow) great song!  
  
Yuffie- We (smack) have to (smack) stop him!  
  
Red13-Theres no way! (smack)  
  
*Suddenly Dan is shot around 8 times in around a second*  
  
Dan-(Coughs up blood) Forgive me Harrison...........(Dramatically falls to the ground)  
  
*The turnips then fall to the ground as well and stop moving*  
  
Yuffie-What shot him?  
  
*They all look at Dans body.Shots then fly from no where and mess up Dans body even more.*  
  
Aeris-What the?!  
  
*Barret jumps from no where and stands on the body.*  
  
Yuffie-Barret! You saved us all!  
  
Townspeople- YAY! LETS HEAR IT FOR BARRET! HES SAVED OUR LIVES!  
  
*The people come from their hiding places and start cheering*  
  
Barret-Finally! I saved Christmas! Yayy!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Silence* 


End file.
